Needing Support on the Journey

One of the recommendations I heard by the analysts before I left Chicago for Lexington was, "You need to reach out for support from others. You are making a difficult move and you are subject to blue moods (depression)."

I have been thinking about emotional support but felt, like so many other things, I need to wait until after I return from taking care of my sister in Ann Arbor for the next two months as she recovers from surgery to replace her second hip joint. I lived 8 months at Walter Reed so I consider this healing time to be a "cake walk."

I attended the Friends meeting this morning. I find it a place of peace compared to the RC parish liturgies which are often an "occasion of sin" because of the language and focus of the sermon. After the meeting I reached out to two women who I will call M1 and M2 for privacy. M2 is a chaplain.

What struck me was how God put us together. For all three of us suffered abuse at the hands of our x-spouses. Mine was spiritual and emotional, both of the women suffered not only emotional but physical abuse also to the extent they had to get restraining orders, move to a different state, etc. Both were now in the process of healing and we had a good discussion for about 45 minutes, sharing the stories of our lives and emotional/spiritual growth.

We plan to get together "for lunch" when I return, they may do so before I return. What M2 said that struck me was, "My son, who this spouse was his step dad, when I told him the truth about the divorce he had a mental and emotional turn around." He was very supportive of M2 and their relationship was much improved. For M1, she only had step daughters but could no longer be in contact because doing so would provide info to her x as to where she was and she fears for her life.

For me, I was filled with hope that I might be friends with either or both of these women. We walk the same road to healing for ourselves and hopefully for our children as well. God/the Source of Life does provide for our needs, we only need to be open to the opportunities.

I was also pleased that M2 is a chaplain and said she would check about my possible part time work as a chaplain with her health care system. I do not know if I will need finances, but I might and I do love being a chaplain. I see it as a central "being a priest" for myself. In a hospital setting I could focus on healing prayer for my patients which is different than hospice where the prayer is for letting go and accompanying the loved ones in their grief. I will see what God has in store for me as I walk the path to the formal recognition: ordination of my priesthood.

I still have not gotten over how peaceful I feel inside since leaving Chicago. I needed to put physical distance between all that occurred there and within me. I feel released from the prison of an abusive relationship that lasted for 30 years. Each of the women talked about trying to discover the "why did I stay in the relationship so long?" It gave me much solace; victims cannot "overcome the abuse" on their own. It seems there has to be an event which clearly forces the choice "to live differently."